My husband and teal toes.

It's official folks, the verdict is in, my husband is the cutest!

He is not perfect by any means and he's made some mistakes (who hasn't) but he's mine and he's improving. My husband and I didn't have a 100% grasp on all things PCOS (he is a guy and I am new to having it)... He had less of a grasp on it all. I think because it was the unknown and he doesn't research things to death like me, it seemed to be too much for him so he just took my word for it.

On Friday, I had a lot of downtime at work so I was on Pinterest looking around and a little picture that had the PCOS diet summarized came up and so I clicked on it. I had a bit about things I shouldn't eat/drink but hadn't gotten any concrete evidence for it so I wondered if the people who created this pin might... They did! They had ton of other info so I just kept reading. I ended up copying some of the links and sending them to my husband.

Now usually when I send him something at work, he doesn't read it because he doesn't check his personal email or he doesn't have time because they are swamped. At the end of the day when he finally checks his email, he's usually in the car with me (we ride together because we work right around the corner from each other) and when he sees its something from me, he usually asks "What was that article/link/video/etc. about?" and I usually summarize. I thought this time would be no different since it was the day after a game, which is usually one of his busiest days. He proved me wrong. This time, he called me a little after lunch, tearing up a little, and said "I had no idea that is what you are dealing with! It is making me sad to know the extend of what you are going through. I would like to talk to you about it after work. I love you." and then we hung the phone up pretty quickly after that because he had to go back to work and I had a call on the other line. I couldn't believe it... He had read all 10 articles I had sent him AND gotten emotional about them. I was soooo excited he had actually read them. They weren't very long but it meant so much that he was willing to educate himself on what I am going through and that he now has a better grasp on it. Towards the end of the day, he started creating some shirts on this t-shirt design website about PCOS. They were teal and had different sayings and pictures he combined to make some pretty cool shirts.

He gets in the cars, tears in his eyes, and says "You are so strong. I can't believe that you have to deal with that everyday. I wish I could take that pain and burden away from you. I will do anything to help you." He proceeds to tell me he did some research on his own and found out a lot of stuff. One thing he found out and was very insistent on doing is called "Teal Toes". I had no idea it existed until he told me about it. Apparently, women with PCOS with paint their toes only teal with the hopes that someone with notice that they are always teal and ask about it. It is an opportunity for them to explain what PCOS is and raise awareness. My husband wanted to do this. I thought he was kidding but sure enough, when we were at the store buying a few things, he picked out a teal nail polish and had me paint his toes last night. My husbands toes are teal!! He thinks it will raise more questions as to why a guy is wearing teal nail polish on his toes than why a girl chooses the same color all the time. I'm sure he'll get some questions. Maybe not now because it is winter but when the weather breaks and he's able to wear sandals and walk barefoot, he'll get questions.

Guys, how did I get so lucky to have such a supportive (and crazy) husband?! He is so amazing! I am sooo elated that he is willing to research PCOS to get a better idea of what is going on inside me. I usually keep things to myself because I don't want to be one of those girls who complains all the time or brings attention to myself, even with my husband, so he didn't really know what was happening inside. I know this post makes it sound like out relationship is bad or that he doesn't care, but I can tell you its far from that. He is very supportive and loving and caring, he just might not always read the silly articles or news articles I send him but when it comes to anything else, he is always attentive. When I do complain about symptoms, he is there to lend an ear, he lends a shoulder to cry on if I need it and is ready to get me anything I need to make me feel better. He is wonderful (if he wasn't, I wouldn't have married him). I just had to brag on him for a little bit. He is wonderful and I love him.

Has anyone else's husband done anything like this or some act to show awareness or compassion towards your PCOS journey?

No good news....

Unfortunately, I have no good news to deliver as I hoped that I might. I took my test on Saturday, November 8 and it was negative. I took another one yesterday in hopes that I needed more time because I really felt "different" but no such luck. That is perfectly fine though!

So since the last time I posted, I have injected myself with my Ovidrel shot as directed by my doctor and had timed intercourse. I used my progesterone pills as directed by my doctor as well and tested on Saturday. Obviously this round didn't work. To say we were bummed would be an understatement. We were really hoping this would be the round because I felt so different this time around than last time.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that we can try again this month! Another set of good news is that hubby's work FINALLY got the insurance situation figured out! After 3 loooooong months of them fiddle-farting around with their computer errors and whatnot, we have finally been able to sign up for next year. I'm not sure if they will let us sign up for this year because of the whole policy where you need to sign up by day 31 of employment. If we aren't able to, my husband has sent an email to the lady who has been "working" on them problem and told her that we will be sending her all medical bills that would be covered by insurance from the date of eligibility to December 31 and expect full reimbursement. Since hubby's insurance covers infertility services, they would be reimbursing us for 3-4 rounds (depending on when it all falls or if I get pregnant) of infertility services, which is a nice chunk of change since we've been having to pay cash for all of it.... $1078/round, $6 for letrozole/round, $22-32 for Ovidrel/round, $108 prometrium/round, $113 for estridol/ 1 round (so far, I will most likely use it again this round).... That is right around $3,765.00 for three rounds (so this upcoming round is included in that)... I would love to get all or most of that back from his company for their mistake. And this doesn't even include my husband's most recent trip to the doctor where he was diagnosed with bronchitis and a sinus infection! The biggest problem that we have had through all of this is that the person who held the position prior to my husband, had no issues getting insurance and he had the same position and type (lower hourly pay) but all of a sudden when my husband got the position, there was some crazy issue with it all in the computer and the way they entered him in. I'm glad they got it fixed but we could have had all of this stuff covered had they just done it all properly or looked into it the first 5 times we asked why he wasn't eligible.

So back on track now (sorry for the rant!). I will be going in for my baseline ultrasound on Thursday and hope by then we will have insurance coverage and if not, then we'll just add it to his tab at work lol I really hope this round works! I think we have found a good combination of medication, a good dosage of the Letrozole and my body seems to be prepping itself for this to happen! I would love to be pregnant by Christmas! Should I get pregnant by Christmas, I could schedule the first heartbeat to be heard on my husband's birthday!! I would love to be able to have him hear the first heartbeat on his birthday... It would such a wonderful blessing, present and moment in our lives :-)

I have just found out that one of my dearest friends has PCOS and has dealt with it since she was a teenager. She is currently pregnant and due very soon. I am so elated to know that she has gone through the same struggle we have and it has been successful for her! God has a funny way of putting people into our lives at just the right moments, even though you don't realize it. He wanted us to be put together 4 years ago and create a special bond before we both began struggling with the same issue of infertility! God is so good!

I am hopeful that this works this time around! I am really excited and feel that this could be it! I have my baseline appointment on Thursday, November 13 (my grandma's birthday) to see if everything is ready to go to start round 3. Please pray for this appointment and my journey... I need all the help I can get!

You know what they say, the 3rd times a charm, right?

Praise the Lord!!

For the record, yes I am a religious person, hence the title! The Lord has moved in me ladies and gentlemen!

So this month has been crazy! I'll give you a brief synopsis if you are just joining me in my journey:

-Went to my RE for an ultrasound to make sure everything was fine and dandy to start round 2. Everything looked great.
-Took my Letrozole and wore Estrogen patches. The patches were used to build up my lining since in round 1 it was a little on the thin side.
-Started slightly spotting and also found out I had a UTI (fun!)
-Went in to see my RE a week later and my follicles were on average 10-12mm and my lining was at about 12.5, I believe. I scheduled an appointment for a few days later to check the growth.
-Went to my RE and found out my follicles and lining were shrinking! I was disappointed but my RE put me back on a higher dose of Letrozole and told me to come back later that week to see how everything is going.
-Went back to RE for another ultrasound and there wasn't much growth so he told me to come back in a week to see another doctor (he was going to be on vaca that week).

Now that you are up to speed on my progress, I will tell you about the appointment I had this morning.

First, I was praying for the entire 30 minute drive to the appointment. I didn't have such a good feeling about this appointment so I have been doubting my ability since the follicles and lining started to shrink. I told him this morning that I wanted it to happen by my 25th birthday and I was leaving it in his hands. I was done worrying and being down on myself, I put it in his hands to work his miracles.

Second, I was running about 5-10 minutes behind because of traffic, so that was fun... I hate running behind to doctor's appointments! I get there, check in and wait. They finally call me back and take my weight and blood pressure. I get into the room, the nurse goes over my information since I'm new to this doctor and tells me to undress from the waist down (standard procedure).... And I wait more. The doctor didn't come into my room until an hour past my appointment time! I was kind of getting impatient because even though I was a few minutes late and just as I started to get impatient, she walks in the room.

I tell you what, not only was Dr. D very apologetic for running behind (she explained they double booked her since my doc is out of town) but she was also very nice. She was excited to see how I was doing (I had not met her prior to this) but she was genuinely excited to check.

Well I must report good news now! I have two follicles on my left side that are ready to go! My lining is perfect! I have one follicle on my right side that is pretty good size but not 100% the perfect size. Dr. D told me to take my shot today and have intercourse today, tomorrow and Saturday, then start my Prometrium on Sunday evening and finally, I test on November 8. AHHHHH!!!!! I am so excited and haven't been able to stop smiling! Dr. D said she'd cross her fingers for me and wished me great luck!

Guys, this could seriously be happening right now! I could be pregnant on that day! I could have a child in my arms by the middle of July! Eeeek! I'm overjoyed! My prayer is for this to come true and to happen!

How?!?!

Well, I went into my doctor yesterday morning to check the progress of the growth of my follicles... That didn't go so well. Apparently, my follicles that were once measuring at about 10-12 each (I had four on my left side, my right was dormant), are now shrinking down in size to between 8-9 each. I was devastated to say the least! I really felt it was going to work. Luckily though, it still could :-)

My RE is having me start taking four Letrazole a day for the next few days and come back on Friday for an ultrasound. The hope is that this will stimulate the follicles more and they will grow rapidly and be ready to go. My fear is that if I get pregnant with the middle of the cycle dose, that I will have a miscarriage or the child will have significant health issues. I really don't want either of those things to happen!

So I shall make the drive to the pharmacy to get my medication and start it again in hopes that this will all work out. I really hope it works this time because honestly if it doesn't, we are going to keep shelling out money... Our child(ren) better realize they are special and blessings to us (and behave!) because they will be our "million dollar babies" hahah

Today is the day.... One of many

Ladies (sorry if you're a guy ready this,  welcome to my blog),

Today is the day. Well one of many at least. I have taken my medication as directed and had no side effects. I attached my patches as directed and had weird side effects. Well, actually they were totally normal side effects but not normal for me. After much preparation, I go into the doctor to see if I can take my shot. I brought it with me today because I am so confident in my body's ability, God's blessings and the medication's strength that it will work and I will be ready today.

Please say a little prayer for me to blessed with this opportunity to bring new life into this world. We are more than excited about this!

Pills and Patches

As many of you know, I have started round 2 of TTC. My doctor upped my Letrozole and added estrogen patches to this round. As promised, I said I would talk about the side effects and feelings of the medication. Obviously, if my appointment goes well tomorrow, then the medication worked.

Letrozole

I took three- 2.5mg pills every day for four days. I took it at the same time for three of the days but the first day I took it later because I had to get the medicine after work. My doctor said this would be okay as long as I took the medicine in the morning the other days, so I did.

Vivelle

These are the estrogen patches I had to get. They cost $106 at Meijer (no insurance yet... please God let it happen next month!). My doctor wanted me to apply four of them, two on each side of my ribs and two on each side of my belly button. I have to keep them on for four days and could possibly need to change them and keep the new ones on for a while but I'll know more at my next appointment (tomorrow). I haven't had any bad side effects except the fact that I have noticed a significant increase in appetite! I'm talking, I'll eat a full meal and then 20 minutes later be starving. It's crazy! I haven't acted upon my significant hunger increase except with some water, fruit, veges or nuts.

Sorry its shorter than the last one but my experience with the Letrazole has been the same as last time even with the increased dosage.

Round Two

This photo is the highway on the road home from Chicago this past weekend (Sept. 26-Sept. 28) for our 2 year anniversary trip. It was very beautiful and the weather was perfect... I really felt God's presence on that trip.

So today is an exciting day for us! I went to my doc and he did my baseline ultrasound to check to make sure everything is looking good. When he walked in the room his immediate reaction was "Why aren't you pregnant yet girl?!? I thought I told you to get pregnant!" as he lightly tapped my knee (which was up in the stirrups) with my chart. I told him "We gave it a valiant effort for round one but we're thinking round 2 will work!" I love him. He is fantastic! I am glad he can joke with me, I'm sure he gets lots of people in there who are way too serious!

We did the ultrasound (which was creepy since they wanted me to come in between days 2-5 of my cycle... aka heavier bleed days so that was a little embarrassing and I was worried about the mess. Surprisingly there was zero mess! I was extra embarrassed when there was a med student in there with him. Usually there is a student with him because he is the head of the OB/GYN department at UC Med School. Every single time he has had a student, they have been female so I wasn't as worried about them because even though they are a student, they at least know what's going on during this time and are usually nicer or more caring. Today, the student was a male. I was became a little more embarrassed because he might know the technical points of what happens during menstruation but he also doesn't know lol My doctor goes through the ultrasound pretty quickly and said "Here's the left ovary, a pretty typical PCOS looking one. And the right, again, pretty typical. Uterus looks great. Lining in great." The lights go on and he tells me we're ready. There is a little bit of a new plan so I will go through that with you.

He has upped my dose of Letrozole from 2- 2.5mg pills per day to 3- 2.5mg pills per day. He says this should increase the rate of my follicle growth, which was a little slow last time. He has me starting this today. I will also be putting on four estrogen patches on Monday to increase the thickness of my lining which should help my fertilized egg attach better. I will go in for my follow-up ultrasound on Thursday to check the growth of the follicles. If everything is good, I will take my shot when he tells me to (most likely that day or the next day). This will all be followed by timed intercourse and some waiting for two weeks until I can take my pregnancy test. He hasn't mentioned doing the Prometrium this time around but he could always tell me to get in when I go in on Thursday. We shall see. So far, my Letrazole price didn't go up even when the increased pills. I was able to get the patches at the same pharmacy for $90 but they would have to order it and I wasn't going to make the drive twice. I was able to get them at Meijer for $111 so I was willing to spend a little extra money to have them yesterday versus making the 30 minute drive to get it later. The Ovidrel shot was ordered today and is expected to arrive by next Wednesday. It was $21 but they have stopped doing free shipping so they tacked on $10 for that. Still better than the $95 I should have been paying!

I will again be doing a report of how everything is going... I feel it is not only helpful for me so I can let out my feelings or thoughts but it is also helpful to others. I have tried to research the medications that my doctor has prescribed for this fertility journey but I have had no luck finding anything other than medical reports, which are great, don't get me wrong BUT I would have liked to have a "real life" account of what happened so I knew when I could potentially expect. No luck. So hopefully in your search, you stumble upon me and it helps :-)

Test Results

So I had a very nice, eventful weekend in Chicago with the hubby for our anniversary. We chose to go on a last minute trip and left on Friday around 12:30pm (had to get the free lunch from his work first!). We went to a Chicago Blackhawks preseaon game that night and drove around a little then checked into our hotel. It was lovely! My dad's girlfriend hooked us up with a discounted room since she works for the hotel chain, told them it was our anniversary so they gave us chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of champagne (we brought it home to give to my dad and his gf since we don't drink). So lovely! We explored and walked around for over 12 hours on Saturday, went on a segway tour of the city at night and a bunch of other fun things. Then Sunday we woke up super early to return in time for my cousin's 5th birthday party.

Well before we left our hotel, I took my pregnancy test. I have been feeling funny and having various things happen internally that haven't ever happened before so I thought I might be but didn't work myself up too much. Well, unfortunately it came out negative. I can't say I wasn't very bummed... Especially knowing that I had a 5 hour drive home and I knew my hubby would be sleeping (he is like a baby, can't get in the car without going to sleep). It was torture. I knew I wouldn't be able to not think about it at least once. I was surprised that I didn't feel too terrible about it and didn't think too much about it. The hubby reassured me that we would just call the doctor on Monday and try again this month. I really hope it works this time.

I know this past time I might have had some issues because I stopped my birth control later than my doctor would have liked me to (he thought he told me to stop the month prior to trying). So my hope is that this month, I can start my period (I haven't yet, which is weird because it should've started as soon as I stopped the prometrium and normally it would've started by now if I was on birth control). If I don't start by tomorrow, I think I'll take another pregnancy test just in case because I know how my body works and it doesn't feel like it normally would during this time... It feels different than it ever has.

But for now, my first round has failed. I am okay with this. We will try again and again until I am pregnant. I know the medications have been working, I've seen the results on an ultrasound and I have seen the results on my ovulation sticks. I am hopeful it will work this time! We are so ready and excited for a baby to join our family!

Ovidrel

Well ladies, I officially took the shot on Saturday morning. I tell you what, I was soooo freaked out because I don't do well with shots at all. I can do tattoos ad piercings (I have multiple of both) with no problem but shots are a whole different story!

So the syringe is tiny; there is maybe an inch of liquid in there. The needle is tiny as well (see below).

 

I laid down on my bed, swabbed my hip, measured the area where it needed to be pricked, pinched the skin and braced myself! It got in about one to two millimeters before I pulled it out because I was so freaked out by the pain of the prick! I talked myself back up and said "Megan, just do it already and get over it you big baby!" I just pinched again and stabbed in in (gently) then let go of the skin and released the plunger full of liquid into my subcutaneous layer. It wasn't bad at all.

I didn't have any crazy side effects. I didn't bleed at injection site, in fact you couldn't even tell I took the shot. I did however feel a slight pain in my abdomen on the right and left sides near my belly button when I laid on my stomach. I also noticed a slight tension on the muscles in my uterus that isn't normal for me. I also have a very sticky/thick cervical mucus. I guess of the side effects I experienced are what it would feel like if I had normal functioning but since I have never experienced that, it was all foreign and weird. Today I have felt more tightening in my uterus (this time its not just from touching the outside, it from cramping type tinges). My doctor told me these side effects are a good sign.

I took an ovulation test on Sunday morning (doctor told me it wasn't necessary but I needed to see if it was actually working) and my surge line was so dark it was crazy! I also took one again this morning and I still have two lines, but the second line is the same darkness as the baseline. I was so happy! It validated this whole process for me. It is actually working.

So of course, there is timed intercourse with this process (which we're not mad about hahaha) so hopefully with all of this treatment I'm getting, I will become pregnant! I have to begin the progesterone tablets (those were $103), vaginally two times a day. This is supposed to help strengthen my lining and help the fertilized egg to attach and stay there. It is also supposed to help prevent miscarriages.

I take my pregnancy test on the 28th so I will update when that happens to let you know if all of this has worked this time around! I am very hopeful and praying hard that this happens!

I Can't Believe It's Real....

GUYS! I just got back from my doctor's appointment this morning and I have such great news!!

I got my second ultrasound and my doctor is pleased with the results. He couldn't stop smiling. My follicles have grown. On my right side, my larger one is now 17x19mm and there is another one which wasn't worth measuring on Wednesday that has grown significantly and is now 10.5x9.5mm. On the left side, the bigger one is growing pretty slowly and is now 12x13.

Dr. T is having me take my shot tomorrow morning and do timed intercourse then I have to take a vaginal progesterone pill twice a day. I take my pregnancy test around the 28th. If it is positive, I schedule a blood test with Dr. T to confirm the pregnancy and continue my progesterone pills. If it is negative then I stop the progesterone, start my period then start this process all over. Dr. T, Shannon (his wonderful nurse), Ryan and I are all hoping for a "one and done" process hahah

This appointment seriously made my day! I was so nervous going into it but was praying and reading through some fertility scriptures while waiting in the waiting room. I have tried to stay super positive through this whole experience and so far it has paid off tremendously. So many people worry and stress so much throughout this time but they don't see that there is a connection between their stress/worry level and their results! You must stay positive and have fun! Don't make conception more of a chore than it already is... I know with multiple doctor's appointments and medications and rising cost, it can be hard but just remember that the desire to conceive stems from a desire God has placed within you to be fruitful and multiply with the man you love and have been married to. You are creating a human being who can do great things, that is half you and half your husband. Remember that always. Don't make it a boring chore like doing the dishes or vacuuming the floor for the 10,000th time this week because your dogs shed like crazy. Make it fun like God meant for it to be!

Ok, off my soap box now and onto praying even more. I pray that all of your wishes of babies come true and that your journey is fun and the burden of infertility feels light!

I'm Making Progress

Well ladies, I went in for my first follow-up ultrasound yesterday (Wed. 9/10/14) to see if the Letrozole has been doing it's job.

I have some good news and some not as good news about it. I'll start with the good news because I'm staying positive about this: I have follicles and they are growing. One of the biggest if 14mm. Which brings me to the not so good news: My follicles aren't quite mature enough yet to take my shot so I must return to my RE tomorrow for a follow-up ultrasound to see if they are continuing to grow.

I am really praying that this is going to work. My RE seemed happy with the results so I'm going to take that as a good sign and run with it haha. I must say, I was kind of hoping to go in there and for everything to be ready to go. I'm also hoping this will be a one-and-done sort of thing.

I'd rather not deal with the disappointment so many people deal with through this process... I don't do so well when I'm failing. I know it's my body that isn't functioning properly but it's still MY body. My husband's swimmers are "super swimmers" and I'm the one who would be in charge of letting us both down if it doesn't work. I'm not trying to melodramatic but it's a little hard when you know that it will be 100% your fault if you don't have your own children....

The hubby is super optimistic and I am being so as well. He is also willing to anything and everything, as many times as it takes with no regard towards money until we have a child (our own or adopted). His motto has been "try and try, save and save, whatever it takes to have a baybay" (if only you could heard how he says it lol). I hope he continues to see things that way. I hope he continues to be optimistic through the whole process.

I told my mom what was going on and informed her of the fact that we are going through this process. She loved the thought of it (she's been trying to decide what she should be called, anything but grandma, for about a year or so since the girls aren't sure what to call her) but she did remind us of the very real possibility that we could have a miscarriage. She wants us to be prepared and also have that thought in our mind because it happened to her twice and she wasn't prepared (she didn't have PCOS and she was young, with three successful pregnancies/births prior to her miscarriages). My mom is just like me in the way she gets excited about something but also thinks of some of the bad things that could happen to prepare herself. Which is a good thing.

Both the hubby and I know and have thought of what we would do if we had a miscarriage because as you all know, the chances of that happening with having PCOS or going through fertility treatments is pretty high. We know it would wreck us but we think it's something we would have plenty of support to make it through. We pray each and everyday that I get pregnant this month and that the baby is born full term and healthy.

So ladies, wish me luck at my appointment tomorrow and if you pray, please pray for me... I'm pretty nervous!

Insurance and Money

So, my insurance ended earlier that I thought it would and hubby switched jobs so we're in transition of insurance (aka without until he gets insurance from work). So for now we're paying everything out of pocket, which would have been the way anyways because neither of our insurances covered any infertility services at all, except for the diagnosis of infertility. So we've been saving for medical costs and we've also been putting some money aside for the past couple months for the baby so we can be as prepared as possible. My appointment on the 27th, should have been $140 but my doctor cut me a break and it was only $82!! Then he prescribed me prenatals, which ended up being free at Meijer! I had the Letrozole sent to Meijer as well and that was going to cost me $126! Yikes! Luckily, Shannon, the ever so wonderful nurse of Dr. Thomas, told me if it costs more than $10, call her immediately and she'll transfer the prescription to the UC West Chester Pharmacy because they can get it there for $10 if I am willing to drive the 30 minutes and be there by 5:00pm, I was totally fine with both! I had her transfer it and it turns out, it only cost me $5.37! I'm saving all kinds of money left and right! My next appointment is supposed to cost $432.00 because its an office visit and ultrasound... I hope it will be cheaper but we're prepared for the expense if need be :-)


Meijer has free prenatal vitamins (you need a prescription) and they have free Metformin Immediate Release pills, given in 30 day increments!! I just found this out and got a little more excited than I probably should have gotten! But honestly, prenatals in the store cost around $20 for a 1-2 month supply and Metformin costs me about $36 for a 1 month supply...I'd like to save my $50+ dollars each month and put it towards my medical appointments with my RE.


Talk with your doctor about not having any insurance or if your insurance doesn't cover any procedures. For my RE, he is the head of the UC Medical College OB/GYN Department so he has students in his office all the time and is willing to let his students do the procedure (basics like a PAP, ultrasound, etc.) for a fraction of the cost he would charge if he were doing it himself. Maybe your doctor is willing to cut the price down or work on a payment plan for you. Infertility is expensive!

Our Journey Begins Now...

So I went in to see Dr. Thomas on Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 2:30pm to discuss how to transition from birth control to the complete opposite. Well lucky me, I was approaching my last week of birth control so his response was, "Stop your birth control this Saturday, start taking Letrozole in Tuesday, come in to see me on the September 10th for an ultrasound to make sure it's working. If it's working you take a shot of Ovidrel then have timed intercourse and hopefully you'll be pregnant by the end of the month."


As if it would just be that easy. He has me completely convinced it will be but there is a small part of me that says "You're broken, it won't be that easy!". The hubby and I have been in good spirits though because we feel we're ready and as prepared as we can be for a baby, now to just have this thing!



We have both been very positive and looking forward to the Tuesday I began my medicine. My doctor prescribed me Letrozole, which is the generic for Femera and is supposed to help my body ovulate since it doesn't do it on it's own. I had no idea this medication existed. I did research for Clomid, I even ordered some online (which I will be returning). I heard terrible things about the side effects of Clomid, and while I know everyone reacts differently to medication, I also know that I usually suffer some side effects terribly, such as the nausea/diarrhea, headaches/migranes, dizzyness, etc. so I was afraid. I was so relieved when he decided to go a different route because I was so afraid. I will document my days on this medicine so I can give someone an insight into what Letrozole/Femera are like. I won't bore you with too many miniscule details such as my complete schedule for the day if nothing happened.

Day 1:

6:30am- Woke up
7:45am- Ate a few mini chocolate donuts on my way in and drank some grape juice :-)
8:30am- Took two, 2.5 mg pills; began work

Side effects today: A little gassy (it could be from the Mexican food from the night before, my approaching menstruation or just the medicine... not sure); a little spacy/time moving faster than I think

Day 2:

6:30am- Woke up
7:15am- Ate a Special K breakfast sandwich and some grape juice
8:30am- Took two, 2.5 mg pills
9:00am- took my prenatal vitamin
9:30am- Took a Notary Public test and felt fine
10:30am- Began work

Side effects: none

Day 3:

7:00am- Woke up
7:15am- Ate a Special K breakfast sandwich and some Gatorade
8:30am- Began work
8:33am- Took two, 2.5mg pills
9:00am- took my prenatal vitamin


Side effects: none

Day 4:

6:30am- Woke up
7:15am- Ate a Special K breakfast sandwich and an Orange Pineapple Apple juice
8:30am- Took two, 2.5mg pills; began work
4:00pm- Talked to my doctor because I was in a panic. (the lady from billing called and told me I needed to pay for the "package deal" for monitored cycle but I didn't think I was on the monitored cycle just yet... I needed clarification before I paid a little over $1000.00 for something I didn't need.)

Side effects: none

Day 5:

8:30am- Woke up; took two, 2.5mg pills
8:45am- Went back to sleep
10:00am- Woke up
12:00pm- Went to Covington's Oktoberfest

Side effects: none


Overall, my experience was pretty great. I had to remember to take the medication at the same time each day but I had no side effects at all unlike the horror stories I have read about Clomid! I'm glad my doctor went this route! I have my follow-up ultrasound on Wednesday to see if the medication is working and if I'm creating good follicles. If I have really good ones, I take my Ovidrel shot on Wednesday, if they are good but still growing, I will take the shot a few days later. So cross fingers and pray for me!

So have any of you had any experiences with Letrozole/Femera and Ovidrel? I'd LOVE to hear your experiences!

Expenses and Other Stuff

Okay ladies, let me get really honest here... Having PCOS is expensive and the testing is outrageous!

I have insurance that covers a decent portion of all of the tests I've had to take and everything but man oh man, I still have to pay out the butt for the stuff that isn't covered! I just got a bill (insurance covered around 70%) and it was for $967.00!!!

So in my last post, I mentioned my doctor wanted me to have an HSG test (Hysterosalpingogram) in days 4-12 of my cycle. I called to schedule the appointment and to
my surprise, insurance wasn't going to cover any of it! This was not something I was warned
about when I had my last appointment so I was not prepared for the price tag or the fact that
they needed most of it when I scheduled the appointment and the rest the day of the
appointment. The test was going to cost $750.00 and I needed $450.00 when scheduling it.
Seeing as how my test was to give my doctor a better picture of my PCOS,I felt it should've
been covered. They lady in the financial/billing department said that they can't bill it for my
PCOS since it is a infertility test. I explained to her the purpose and that I'm not trying for a
kid right now. She recommended a Saline Sono (Sonohysterosalpingogram) instead, so I called my doctor to see if we could do that instead since it could be billed for the purpose that it was serving, to see the extent of my PCOS and how everything looks in there. He said it would be okay to do that test and I scheduled it.

I did not enjoy that test not one bit. I'm sure it was made worse by the fact that I have some sort of an infection or something... It could also have something to do with the fact that I had to have the test done twice since for some reason the device was letting bubbles out... Or the fact that there was my doc, a med student, and two nurses in there with the lights off and a lamp shining onto my hoo-ha... Or a combination of all of the above!

After the shock of the pain that occurred when they inserted the catheter and inflated the balloon, the rest wasn't bad. I did have to wear a pad afterwards because they used a crazy amount of saline to get the test done (twice) so that it didn't look like I peed my pants lol

I did find out that everything is in working order though, all tubes are open, no cysts (which I haven't had any since I've been his patient and am not aware of a history of having any cysts ever), uterus is in a great position and it all looks "normal". Yay for great news!!!!

The hubby also got tested and his little swimmers are what my doctor calls "Super Sperm" because of his results (imagine my husband's reaction when I came home and told him that... you'd swear I came home and told him I was pregnant lol).

So now for the journey on the way to parenthood can begin shortly.

The Start of a Long and Hard Journey!

Well folks, as disgusting as this may be to some of you, I am posting my before pictures and current height/weight and measurements. This is mostly for my own personal record but hopefully it will inspire some of you on your journey as well. (Excuse the mess on the counter, this is our spare bathroom and my mom has been staying with us while going through a nasty divorce b/c her husband shut the power off )

As many of you know, having PCOS means you are (most likely, not always), overweight AND it is stubborn weight that won't come off because your hormones are all kinds of wacky. Well I fall into that category. Very quickly I might add! I've never been a stick but I've usually been in pretty decent, athletic shape. I was never considered "obese" and was barely considered overweight (by 5 pounds my doc would always say) but just a year and a half prior to finding out I had PCOS, I gained 25 pounds... That's what sparked the thought that I might have it and low and behold, I do. I know firsthand that it's not easy, I have been trying since the first 10 pounds creeped up on me. I would go to my local Planet Fitness 5 days a week for hours at a time, I'd walk to work everyday (as long as it wasn't snowing or raining because I had to cross two major roadways) instead of drive since it was close, I watched what I ate and I did personal training sessions once per week. Never lost a pound. Instead I gained. UGH! It is so frustrating. Trust me, I know how you feel.

I have begun, as of last night after these photos, measurement and such were taken, the Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 Video. Let me tell you what, it kicked my butt HARD last night. I don't think I've sweated that much in my life (it could also be due to the weather and the fact I don't like to turn my A/C on because it costs a ridiculous amount each month to have it on). I worked it out hard and had to pause in between the circuits for a water break. I won't recommend it yet because I have no results to say it works BUT I will say that if I am going to be working out as hard as I did yesterday, then it should work by the end of the 30 days. I am going into this with realistic expectations though. I do not by any means expect to have a body like Jillian Michaels by day 30 (wouldn't that be nice?!?) but I would like to be slimmer, lose 15 pounds and be able to start the video again until I am the size I would like to be. My build screams "I can handle huge muscles!!" and I'm going to give it what it wants! It's all about goals and hard work! My BMI right now is at a 29.2, which is classified as being overweight. In order to be in the normal/healthy range, I need to get down between 114-149... My goal is to be down to 140 by the end of the year and I think it's very reasonable as long as my meds keep working, my work-out keeps working and I don't get pregnant by December hahah I would love to stay at 140 but I could go lower if my body allows me to get there healthy.

My Goals:

-Lose 30 pounds by September 1st.

-Lose 20 more pounds by December 31st.

-Have toned arms

-Lose my bra fat

-Start my period on my own without needing medication

-Get my testosterone level within normal range

-Drink more water and less soda

-Be able to hike to the top of the Natural Bridge without getting winded

-Discern portion sizes and control my eating at family events/holidays.

-Have clearer/less oily skin

-Get pregnant by the time hubby leaves for basic or just after technical training :-)

My Measurements:

Height: 5' 5.5" (I don't anticipate this changing)

Weight: 178

Bra Size: 40D

BMI: 29.2 (overweight)

Bust: 42"

Chest: 38.5"

Upper Arm: 12.5" (left), 13" (right)

Forearms: 10.5" (left), 10.75" (right)

Waist: 36.25"

Hips: 42" 

Thighs: 25" (yes, measured both and they were the same)

Calves: 15.5" (again, they were the same)

Neck: 14.75"

 

Oh, the Marvelous Things That Are Happening!

The title is a true testament to how I feel right now! Although, this doesn't help you much so I shall elaborate hahah

I went in for my follow-up appointment last Wednesday and it certainly boosted my confidence more than I ever imagined it would! So I went in hoping for the best (as good as news can get for progress and such) and got so much more!

First, my doctor is amazing. He has been rated top doctor in Cincinnati for reproductive endocrinology almost every year since 1997. The group I go to within UC, he created it. He is a professor and the head of the endocrinology department of UC Medical School. He's a people person, makes things not awkward (because this kind of stuff is awkward and embarrassing) and makes me feel like even though I know something inside me is not right, it doesn't make me less of a woman or that we can't tackle this problem with ease. He's an amazing man!

So to do a recap of events thus far with my doctor, my first appointment with his was in February when I go a recommendation from my primary doctor to go to him ASAP because there were some major concerns. Namely, my lack of periods, hair growth, super high testosterone level and various unusual pains. I was surprised at how quickly I got in with him and how nice everyone was in his office! I go into his office and we talk about PCOS, hirsutism and my periods. He did an ultrasound with a weird wand thing that he put in me to look at fibroids, ovaries and cysts. He said my ovaries were huge, my fibroids were out of control and that he was officially diagnosing me with PCOS. He told me to continue the birth control I started taking a couple months before, take Spirolactin and Metformin, he would do some blood tests and see me back in 3 months. Well when I got my blood work bck, I was happy that my testosterone went down from my last blood test in November where it was about 188. My weight stayed the same which was okay.

Well I wen in for my follow-up just last week and I am super excited!!!! He did my yearly PAP, which I assume will be normal because I haven't had issues in the past with it and I have no family history of any issues. He spoke to me about my progress and how I am feeling. I have lost 7 pounds!!! That is the first loss of weight I've experienced in 3 years, which is great because I didn't even really try to lose any weight (I can only imagine what will happen if I do) so he believes my medications are doing their job and I should continue them. He also spoke to me about having kids and what I would need to do to make this happen... Its pretty standard, hubby gets sperm count, I get some weird dye test that determines if my tubes are open and my uterus is looking good then I take Clomid and viola! (well hopefully viola! on the first try but who knows lol). I got more blood drawn and scheduled another follow-up for 2 months from now to talk about my dye test results and my progress at that point. He seems to think because of my age, my general health (all of my blood levels are great) and all that jazz, that I will have minimal problems conceiving.

I would like to say, I got my blood work back and I am excited! My first appointment, I got blood work done and my testosterone went down to 132 ng/dL on February 12, 2014. I got it done this time and my testosterone went down to 74 ng/dL on May 14, 2014!! That is the lowest it's been since 2009!!!!! EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

I know for some that doesn't seem like a big reason to celebrate but for me this is huge! I've always had an imbalance and for me to hit my lowest level in 5 years is amazing! It's only been about 6 months of medication but I can only imagine what will happen during my next appointment. If I am lucky, I might actually be in the normal range, which I can honestly say has never happened in my whole life. New information from my mom has shown me that I have had a testosterone imbalance since I was 6 years old and was diagnosed with PCOS at age 7 (before I even started). I know this news excites the hubby because he is baby crazy and wants a child (so do I but I never felt confidence in my ability to conceive) but now I have all the confidence in the world to move forward with it. It is certainly not something we are rushing into but its nice to know that I now have the ability should we choose... Its nice to have options, ya know?

I will update with any information I get on my follow-up appointment! Good luck to all of you in your journeys as well! I would love to hear from you guys on your thoughts, struggles, victories and anything else you would like to share!

Update

So I got approval from my doctor to start on Atkins and started two weeks ago. So far it hasn't been too bad, just a little difficult at times.

Yesterday was Easter, so I cheated a little on my foods because the only option for me was to eat raw veggies and deviled eggs... They were only appetizers and honestly there weren't enough for me to make a meal and allow everyone else to snack. I got to my grandparents' house and asked what we were having so I could map out my meal plan. I ended up at about 50 carbs for the day instead of my 20-25 range BUT I still did great (seeing as how the recommended range is 250-300)!! I have lost a total of 5 pounds so far, no doubt due to my lack of exercise because of my hectic schedule and preparing for my finals/graduation. Once this week is done, I can safely schedule time at LEAST 3 times per week at the Y again and get to working on exercise AND diet. I think my doctor will be pleased with my progress so far.

A MAJOR accomplishment for me was when I put on this dress I have and wore it for Easter. It is an old, 50's style dress that looks like it came directly from the Kentucky Derby hahah but I LOVE it! It is a nice, bright blue with a slim fitting, pencil look all the way down, cap sleeves and a high but wide neckline. I purchased it and was able to (barely) wear it to church once in January... It took a lot of work on my hubby's part to get it zipped but we got it and I walked around all stiff lol Well I put it on yesterday and while it is still slim fitting and my boobs were smashed together a bit, it zipped up with no problems! I was so excited to feel that I had a little extra room, it didn't dig when I set down and it zipped up quickly with no issues! I know the scale says I haven't made much progress but that dress shows me I have!

Something I don't think anyone who doesn't have PCOS will ever understand are the little victories. For us, getting an unassisted period is an accomplishment. Ovulating is an accomplishment. Losing two pounds is an accomplishment. Not having to shave as often because our hormones are starting to balance or they finally found a medicine that works, is an accomplishment. Even getting pregnant (and carrying full term without miscarriage) is a HUGE accomplishment. I think people forget that or don't care to see it. PCOS is a struggle and it is not easy, even if it does not show on the outside that something is wrong, doesn't mean there isn't. There are not only the physical aspects of PCOS but also the emotional aspects. I couldn't tell you how many times I have gotten jealous and sometimes angry when I hear someone I know is pregnant. It is unnecessary but it happens. I get so angry at myself for knowing that I can't just go and get pregnant whenever I want, that it is going to take some work, pills or even expensive procedures. I know that when they have healthy, happy babies, I could miscarry or have a child with health issues. I get jealous because they can do what I can't and it kills me inside because I know that the hubby and I want our own child. It kills me that many of my medical procedures to have a child may not be covered by insurance but all of theirs are. It hurts to know that there is a possibility of it never happening. It is not something I have done to get in this little boat I am in, I am relatively healthy (aside from the weight gin I've experienced lately), I didn't drink or smoke myself silly or even do insane amounts of drugs. I have taken care of myself yet I got this. I like to look on the bright side though. Even if I can't have children of my own, I have been blessed with being able to raise two wonderful sister-in-laws. There is always adoption or surrogacy. God made me this way for a reason and so far has blessed me with a doctor who has the knowledge on how to make everything better or fix it. I know my case is different in some ways than others but I am making strides towards success and leveled out hormones.

I am hoping on my testosterone to go down during the next appointment and for my doctor to say, "Let's give this baby thing a try!". I have to wait a little bit until the hubby knows if he is able to enlist in the Air Force. If so, we'll wait until he enlists and is done with his technical training to try because we can only have so many dependents to start with and we're at the limit to enlist. After that, it's free range on how many and when we have them. I would like to have a decent sized family because we love kids but I will happy just to be blessed with at least one. Wish me luck!

Diet and Weight Struggles

For those of you who are new to this blog, I started it because I have been diagnosed with PCOS. If you are wondering why they is, click on the link at the top of this to find out information about it.
Those of you who didn't know me prior to the onset of my symptoms, may be shocked to find out that I used be a normal weight, pretty fit and muscular person and when my symptoms started popping up, my weight started packing on and before I knew it, in a matter of a year, I gained approximately 20-25 pounds. I didn't realize it until I went to my yearly exam with my doctor and she was like "Uhm we need to do something about this!". I still wasn't diagnosed with PCOS at that point. I had other health problems (digestive problems and had my gallbladder removed) so I attributed it to that and just kept my fat/greasy levels down on all of my foods so that I could keep my digestive symptoms and pain down. I like to attribute the weight gain (it happened around the time) to the fact that my husband and I suddenly got custody of my husband's twin sisters (story here if you're interested in reading and want to understand what I'm talking about) and the stress we had to deal with. It is not their fault but it certainly didn't help that life got crazy, schedule got busy and probably eating too much because of stress.

Due to my digestive issues, I had to cut meat out of my diet altogether. I couldn't do fast food most of the time. I was really restricted until my doctor put me on Metformin. (I know the side effect is bowel issues but it had the opposite effect, it fixed all of my food intolerance problems) As with all diet changes and being on medication, I did get approval from my doctor to change my diet. He actually said a reduction in carbs tends to help women with PCOS who have a hard time losing weight, to lose weight... Great news for me and hopefully some of you too!!

I have decided that I am done starting and stopping a diet because my husband won't eat this or eat that. This time he's totally on board with our new plan and it is something that my doctor recommends anyways: reducing my crabs. We have chosen to abandon our vegetarian diet for Atkins. So far it has been very easy and not taken too much of a toll on my energy or anything. So far I've had to force myself to remember to make time to eat breakfast because I hardly ever eat breakfast during the week. I will eat a snack between breakfast and lunch, so far it has been celery one day and pepperoni slices w/ cream cheese today. I will eat a lunch, so far both days it has been salad with cheese and ham cubes on it. My second snack will consist of sugar free Jell-O with a dollop of homemade whipped cream (whip up whipping cream and some Stevia). Dinner has been a salad with boiled eggs, ham cubes and cheese with about 3 crab legs. Tomorrow I'll be able to cook some dinner and I'm thinking of making this delicious sounding Mexican Lasagna. Apparently you steam cabbage with a little butter and cook ground beef with some garlic, cumin, chili powder and other spices you like, drain both (not together). Put the cabbage on the bottom of a 9x13 pan and top with ground beef. Put a little salsa on top of the meet, some sour cream and shredded cheddar cheese. Serve it up with a salad or some mashed cauliflower... YUMM!!!!

I have used the Atkins web app to track my progress (none has been made yet since I started on Tuesday) but I can put my food in the log and add my weight/measurements and makes changes to track my progress in the long run compared to my goal. I am just hoping I make some progress. I don't know about you but one thing that keeps me from moving forward with diets a lot of times is when I see zero progress after I've worked hard or dieted well. Nothing kills my motivation faster than seeing no results from my hard work. Right when I started to gain a little weight, I remember we were going to then gym 4-5 times a week for approximately 2-3+hours each time (depending on our schedule), eating a 90% raw, vegetarian diet but I was only gaining weight and my pants only kept getting tighter.... The exact opposite of what I was busting my butt to happen!!!

I will keep my weight loss journey updated as it goes along. I am hoping to motivate someone to make some changes to improve their health or lose the weight they want by doing this. I know this won't be an immediate results deal and will be work but I am willing to do it! These few pounds could be the difference between my happiness, my health and my future offspring coming to life!

Wish me luck!

Symptom update

Well it's been a little bit since my last post. Life has been a whirlwind and my symptoms have been so up and down that I'm not sure what to think...

I started taking the medication prescribed by my wonderful doctor but unfortunately I started having some severe nausea everyday and vomiting for half of the week, to the point I was eating nothing more than crackers when I could keep them down... It was bad. My doctor took me off of the aldactone for a week to see if that changed anything and it didn't so he put me back on it and told me to try to eat more. I am not supposed to take the medication with no food in my stomach so I increased my food amount and so far it seems to be going well. I've only had two days since then that I've felt nauseous and one day where I vomited. I am not seeing any increase or decrease in weight or appetite yet. I have been cutting back on my portioning and sweets. I did give up soda for lent so there is another thing out of my diet. I have not been able to really work out, my schedule is wayyyyyy too busy to get serious exercise in. I have been taking the stairs everywhere I go and trying to run up them instead of walk all the time. It's at least something.

I have had a pretty noticeable and awesome side effect of the medication. So usually I would not be able to eat meat because of how it reacts with my stomach and the Metformin typically has some less than desirable bowel side effects. Now that I have been on all medications, I have been able to eat meat!! I have been without chicken, beef, steak, pork, etc. for almost a year but I have recently discovered that I can eat it. I still have issues with fried/greasy foods and popcorn but I'm at least able to have a wider range of foods when we go out to eat lol

Another symptom that I have noticed has been having two periods in one month for February and March. Not spotting, like full blown periods, two of them, two weeks apart. Aggravating! I decided to skip the one I am supposed to be having right now because frankly I am sick of dealing with it and just need a break (after all, one of them did just end two weeks ago!).

I do have a follow-up with my doctor in May and in that appointment we will be having a discussion about how things have been going, possible future treatment options and the possibility for children in the near future. I am hoping that any round of medication that we have for conception works the first round and we can have a happy, healthy baby (ideal, wishful thinking lol) but we all know that there are challenges that can come with fertility treatments. We are hoping to have a child here within the next year or two, its something that we feel e are financially prepared for, have enough space in our home and are at a good age to extend our family, not to mention my family wants (without saying it directly) us to have kids. Just typing about it makes me a little excited at the prospect!

Well I believe this is all the news I have for now. I will post when I speak with my doctor in a month or if my symptoms change.

Brag post

I don't normally brag on myself or my victories so this will be a bit odd but my doctor just called so I MUST share the victory!!

One: The Metformin that my doctor prescribed is not having hardly any side effects this time around. The first time I was on it, I was having extensive stomach pains and diarrhea (TMI I know but someone out there might be having the same problem) so we gave it a break. I started it back up after a 6 month break and it is doing great! No side effects whatsoever! Yay! Also the Aldactone  is not having the diuretic symptoms I was warned about, which is again, great!

Two: My doctor called with my bloodwork results. My testosterone has gone down pretty significantly since my last blood test and since being on birth control for about 3 months. I was at a 188 (!!) and now I'm down to 132 (!!). It is still very high but I would say that this decrease of over 50 is a huge gain for me! My free testosterone went down to a 9.2 (normal range peaks at 6.4 I believe). All of my other work for glucose, triglycerides, etc. came back in normal range which is great! He also told me on my ovaries from the ultrasound, I do not have any cysts but, as he told me in the appointment when they were doing the ultrasound, my ovaries are huge! It's normal when you have that high of an amount of testosterone running through your body. I'm just so elated!!

I think for me, this is a huge victory. I know I didn't do much other than pop a pill for 3 months but I am just so excited that my body is functioning how it should be to get the levels down. Now to work on getting them down even more so I can start popping out babies hahah!

Weight Loss

So for the readers out there who think they may have PCOS, are doing research on PCOS or have PCOS and are reading for comfort, I'll give you a news flash: Weight is hard to get off, if not almost impossible!

When my symptoms started getting worse, I noticed that I started to slowly gain weight. Now, two years later, I'm about 35 pounds heavier. I have recently (about 6 months now) taken a break from working out and haven't noticed any gain in weight in that time period. I used to go to the gym about 3-5 days a week, depending on my schedule that week. I would work out for about 1-2 hours, and possibly taken a Zumba or Yoga class. I have always been pretty muscular from sports and I haven't seen any decrease in strength, just a gain of weight. It is frustrating when you work so hard and have good eating habits, only to get bigger! My weight was near impossible to get off... I would step on the scale and would only see maybe a one pound decrease (if I was lucky) but it never stayed down because your weight fluctuates by 5 pounds each day. It didn't used to be this way! In high school (mind you that wasn't very long ago), I was able to run or do some conditioning twice a week and the pounds would fall off... We ate fast food a lot then because mom was sick and we had to be ten thousand places so we'd eat fast food almost 4-5 nights a week... I watch what I eat now, eat very healthy and don't eat a lot of junk food so it made no sense to me.

I can remember starting to feel very self conscious about my weight increase, something that never happened before. I have always felt confident and loved the way I looked but I suddenly felt that going away. It made me sad.

I was told by my doctor that many women who have PCOS have struggles with their weight. I am not obese, just a bit overweight but I would like to fix this. My doctor also told me that when my hormones become more balanced, it should be easier to get my weight off like it was just a couple years ago. I am hopeful this is the case because I would love to be at a healthy weight, I would love to be able to fit in my favorite jeans and not have to buy new ones because none of my clothes fit. I want to not feel like I have to tug at my shirt when I sit down to hide my stomach. I am becoming more comfortable in my body at it's current size but I don't want it to be this way forever.

I am going to document my struggles with weight, my ups and downs, what works and what doesn't and hopefully you can take that journey with me! We can lose it together and be healthy, happy, PCOS women! I know (and I hope you do too) it is going to be a long journey, it might take a year or more for me to lose what I want but I am willing to wait!

Please, as always, share your comments, suggestions, things that worked for you, things that didn't and any questions you have!! I invite open conversation and candidness!

My story.

Well folks, it is official now, as of this morning I have gotten 100% confirmation that I have PCOS (my mom has been saying for a while that I was diagnosed when I was younger but no other doctor has said this since).


This blog was created to not only track my progress for personal reasons but to hopefully help someone with their battle and/or realize they may have PCOS.

Let's start at the beginning:

I was born, came into the world just as most others do. I was very healthy and happy baby, very few problems... My mom says I was a happy, quiet, non-crying (unless necessary which was rare) baby. I was a happy toddler with few problems and definitely not as many as my other siblings that came after me. I am the oldest of 4 kids (I technically have 6 siblings but was only raised with 3 of them; my older half-brother was adopted away before I was even born and I just recently learned about him and I have two step-brothers who are in elementary school). When I was about 6 years old, my mom noticed that I started growing breasts and pubic hair, she felt this was VERY odd for my young age so she took me to the doctor. I was not an overweight child so the breast growth and need for a bra caught her off-guard (most overweight young girls have large chests but probably wouldn't have it if they were at an average weight). They said I had a hormonal imbalance but didn't know how bad because children have such varying degrees of hormones and they didn't know if I was going through puberty early. They dismissed the signs and I guess we dealt with it (honestly I don't remember, I just go off what mom has told me).

I started my period at 10 years old (a few months away from being 11), which is pretty average, most of my friends started at 11 or 12, so I was pretty right on time. As time progressed, my periods were getting heavier and heavier, I would have be regularly irregular (meaning for being young and just starting its pretty normal to have irregular periods until you get a little older and it evens out and comes once a month). Mine were coming every other month, sometimes once a month, occasionally once every two months... Just depended I guess. Mine got way heavier though, I can remember bleeding through a Super tampon in 2 hours and leaking out of the maxi pad I used as a "pantyliner" in case of not being able to use the restroom at school. It was terrible! Needless to say, I got VERY used to wearing hoodies to school in case there was a crazy leak and it needed to be covered up by wrapping it around my waist.

In the late summer of 2001, on the day of my 7th grade orientation, I woke up in severe pain with blood everywhere. I went directly to the restroom and didn't leave until it was time to go. It wasn't even worth using a tampon because it would fill immediately. I was in severe pain, so bad that I couldn't move without it getting worse. We opted for me to go to the orientation but stay in the car so she could just get my schedule and supply list and then leave because the bleeding slowed down slightly (I remember wearing one of those old lady diapers to prevent messes). We didn't even make it to the school which was 2 minutes from my house before she called the ambulance and had them pick me up at my school (embarrassing!). They couldn't figure out the problem but gave me pain meds, time and allowed the blood to slow before they sent me home. This pain/bleeding happened again my sophomore year of high school but this time I just decided to stay home instead of have my parents pay for another hospital visit with no answers... Time and the hot tub helped that day.

During my high school years, I would have a period every three months but I never mentioned this to my parents so I never really got treatment. My mom was very sick for basically my whole high school career so I didn't want to burden her with my issues (seeing as how she had many of her own), didn't feel like it was an issue my dad would know anything about and I didn't think anything was wrong since this was normal for me (I guess I thought it would even itself out by the time I got in my 20's).

Unfortunately, this problem only got worse. I slowly started getting less periods. I got increased facial hair, darkened arm hair, increased speed of hair growth on my legs and underarms. I got a PAP in 2011 and the doctor wanted to do some blood work and found out my testosterone level was twice what it should be. She put me on birth control but my migraines increased significantly so we switched the medication. I ended up getting off of the medication because I had a couple months with no insurance and didn't have the money to pay out of pocket for it.

Well I ended up bringing these issues up to my gyno and he decided to prescribe Metformin and Orthocyclene. I chose to only go on the Metformin since the last birth control I was on caused me to gain about 20 pounds (doc said it was because the hormone change made me more hungry and I must not have noticed it)... I don't need to add another 20 pounds! Well I tried the Metformin for about 5 months and it didn't do anything, I only had one period and no change in weight. I was due for a period anyways, it was 6 months afterall! In July, a visiting doctor (my doc was on summer vaca) noticed my facial hair and darker arm hair so she ordered more blood tests... testosterone went up to 119! Ugh! Well I didn't like her and decided to see my primary care doctor ordered blood tests in late September because she noticed my hair got darker on my face and arms. Well the results came back and testosterone went to 188!! I started birth control in October in order to lower this. I followed up with her in mid-January and she recommended I go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I made an appointment immediately and saw him today.

Today, February 12, 2014, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Dr. Thomas looked over my paperwork, looked at me and said "You have polycystic ovary syndrome." I am pretty sure I almost cried. I don't know why. Maybe because I associated PCOS with not having kids. Also, I know it has no cure and I will have to live with this for the rest of my life. He said he has to do an intravaginal ultrasound to confirm this but everything I stated points to PCOS. He was also concerned with my quickly increasing testosterone, he said it could mean I have a tumor. My latest blood test taken today will determine if I need to get my adrenal gland check out... He doesn't think I have one because I don't have the other symptoms of it but that doesn't mean its completely ruled out yet. He did the ultrasound and found that my ovary is very enlarged (symptom of PCOS) and saw the fibroids or something like that in excess. Today he told me to stay on my birth control, started me on Aldactone (100mg) and Metformin XR (2000mg per day). As time goes forward and my most recent test come in, I will update.

I am hoping to use this blog to document my good and bad times with PCOS, medications I'm on and what works, symptoms/side effects, and all of that fun stuff. I hope I will be able to help someone or bring comfort to those who are just diagnosed... Who knows maybe someone will find a new treatment or something that works.

Current Weight: 184
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Medications: Orthocyclene (1 pill/day), Metformin (2000mg/day) and Aldactone (100mg/day)
Current Symptoms: Weight gain, occasional brief, sharp stabbing pain on left or right side near ovary, facial hair, medium brown arm hair, excess dark hair on stomach, breasts and about 5 random, dark hairs on shoulder/back.
Current Feelings: Hopeful, Thankful, Inquisitive, Scared, Embarrassed, Vulnerable and Relieved.